My 12/1/10 post for HemAware.org. Don't forget to check out their articles! Great stuff for all you hemos.
http://hemaware.org/blogs/diary-hemomom/my-sickly-self
I landed myself a trip to the emergency room a few days before we flew to the National Hemophilia Foundation’s (NHF’s) Annual Meeting in New Orleans, November 11–13. I had a severe allergic reaction that was bad enough for John to call 911. Oh, lucky me! I’m OK now, and the baby is OK, too, but I almost thought I wouldn’t be able to attend the conference. My allergist was leery about allowing me to fly after the scare, and my ultra-conservative ob/gyn strongly advised against the trip. But, I’m stubborn, and I went anyway. And actually, I’m glad I did—illness or not. I had a wonderful time despite feeling under the weather, and I wouldn’t have traded the benefits of those four days for the world.
I’m able to somewhat write nonchalantly about this experience because, unfortunately, I’ve become used to my condition. You see, I’ve had several brushes with death before. For the past eight years I’ve suffered from idiopathic anaphylaxis, along with severe asthma.
What happened to me the Saturday before the Annual Meeting wasn’t a first-time occurrence, my friends. I’ve been unconscious on a ventilator before, I suffered a right lung collapse in 2006, and I’ve had my fair share of ICU admits. Niki and I can both equally call the emergency room our second home. The staff knows us well! I’ve had thousands of dollars of testing, but specialists haven’t been able to figure out what causes these anaphylactic reactions. So, I carry an EpiPen, and I know how to use it!
I often try to downplay my health issues, but honestly, I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I never know when or how hard an episode will hit. It initially was difficult for me to emotionally deal with the boys watching me be sick. They’ve seen me unconscious and foaming at the mouth. I’ve even seen the panic in their eyes on the rare occasions that I stayed conscious long enough for the paramedics to arrive. It all leaves an uneasiness in me that I can’t even begin to describe. I can only hope the boys won’t be affected by the things they’ve seen me go through.
Hanging On to Our Good Insurance
When Niki was born, the reality of our family’s need for good insurance really kicked in. And that only added to my worries! If I lose my insurance benefits because I’ve fallen ill, or—God forbid—if I die from one of these episodes, then it will affect John and the kids not only emotionally, but also financially. I know this all sounds melodramatic, but this is a reality for our family. I’m the main insurance provider, and I’m not exactly the healthiest person in the world. John has excellent insurance for healthy people, but not for people who have chronic conditions. Whenever I have episodes like this, my fears come back again, and “what-ifs” occupy my thoughts. Having a sense of humor helps me be less cynical about living with my condition. I learned how to pack an “emotional survival kit” for my health issues years ago. Nevertheless, I’m a mom: It’s in my nature to worry!
I wish I could say our family has a back-up plan for the “what-ifs,” but we don’t. All I can do is have faith that things will work out—that I will stay healthy so my family always has access to the best insurance possible. I adhere to my medication schedule, but I’m also notorious with my family and friends for pushing myself too hard. The last time John had to call 911 for one of my reactions was when I served as team captain for our local chapter’s inaugural Hemophilia Walk on World Hemophilia Day 2010. I was running around all over the place that day, and it bit me in the you-know-what.
I was lucky that I didn’t get admitted or intubated that time around, but I was inches from it. That was the first time Niki saw me have one of my reactions, and she seemed perplexed at all the commotion that surrounded me. She was awake for this last one, and I didn’t like it. She had that same confused look on her face.
Fighting Frailty
Now, I don’t know if this is necessarily a good thing, but I like the challenge. I hate being sick in bed because I feel totally unproductive. I try to avoid treating myself like I’m emotionally frail from all of this, because I fear actually becoming frail. I’m a mommy, caregiver, full-time employee and wanna-be “superwoman.”
I don’t call in sick when I am sick, because I have to be ever-conscious about the Family and Medical Leave Act hours Niki and I must share. Truth be told, I don’t take it easy as often as I should. But, if I lay around and wallowed in my sorrows, what example would I be setting for my children? Rather, I believe that if I emit a false sense of strength, then eventually, I become what I envision myself to be.
There isn’t anything I can do to help my condition, but I have total control of how I perceive it. I know my physical limits, but I also try to slowly stretch my limits so I build some endurance. Mind over matter, right? (Well…most of the time, anyway.)
I suppose I want to raise Niki, and the rest of my children, to have the same philosophy as well. Think strong and you will be strong! After all, emotional strength is all you’ve got left when the world around you comes crashing down.
Showing posts with label Sickly Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sickly Me. Show all posts
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
"Party" All The Time
I'm back from my semi-hiatus, ya'll! You guys know I'm a stickler for keeping my entries in chronological order so unfortunately -- NO -- this post is NOT about our trip to NHF's Annual Meeting in New Orleans.
In due time my pretties, in due time....
In other news, call me silly, but I only recently discovered the "stats" tab on Blogger a few weeks ago. (When my blog died, and was reborn.) I was surprised to learn that I have quite a few daily visits from readers all over the place -- United Kingdom, Philippines, Germany, Japan, Russia, Canada, Netherlands, Sweden, Czech Republic, and the list goes on and on! Okay, the Philippines makes total sense, but the only logical explanation I have for the other countries is that you found my blog through HemAware.org. And if so, that ROCKS & I'd love to "meet" you.
With that being said -- ahem -- why not just hit the "follow" button in the Bloggy Friends area on my sidebar? I know I just put the "follow" option on my blog (when my blog was reborn -- woo hoo!), but please do follow this blog so I know you're out there. A few of you "secret readers" already came out of the woodwork, but I don't see you under my followers list. Family and friends, this includes you too! Let's get this party started!!! :)
Thank you for listening to my announcement of the day. Onto the update....
Saturday, November 6, 2010
You may remember that I mentioned in my last post that I was battling cold and allergy symptoms shortly after Halloween. I didn't have a cough or asthma symptoms, but I was dealing with watery eyes, a nose that ran like it was trying to win a friggin' marathon, and sneezing like I was allergic life AND air itself.
I. Was. Miserable.
Nevertheless, I continued to work and push myself like I always do -- gotta save my sick/vacation time/FMLA hours for emergencies with Niki -- and I *thought* I was doing better by Saturday morning. I'm very limited on what I medications I can take because of Noie, but my allergist started me on a Prednisone taper on Thursday 11/4/10 so I could keep my asthma in check. I'm breathing for two, ya know. My doctors and I get nervous whenever I'm sick because my history of asthma and anaphylaxis. The good news is all was fine and dandy asthma-wise. My lungs were clear and I had no signs any infection brewing. My doctor even gave me the go-ahead to use Benadryl for my allergies. Meanwhile, I was still reporting to work every day, and comforted myself (and my patients) in knowing that I was NOT contagious.
There is no rest for the weary. ;-)
I was feeling slightly better on Saturday. Actually, we had a wonderful time attending my godson and nephew's joint birthday party. I don't recall appearing alarmingly sick to the rest of the party-goers, but I'm sure I looked like something the cat dragged in. But -- hell -- that's practically a daily occurence anyway! I'm far from being one of those radiant pregnant women. I don't glow, I sweat!
The cubbies had a blast. We got there a little late which means I didn't have a chance to take pictures of decor while it was still relatively untouched, but it was an adorable party. I really appreciated the concept of theme. I went to a Cowboys & Indians party once, but I really liked the idea of Buzz & Spidey battling. My CIL-to-be put the party together and I must say she did a really good job. (You guys know I'm a sucker for all things crafty!) Frankly, I'm a lazy ass so I always make the boys pick ONE theme even though they've begged me do TWO themes before. I still haven't got the slightest idea how I could've put together a "Hot Wheels and Diary of a Wimpy Kid" party. But, it's okay because I'm done with boy parties for a while anyway. ;-)
Here are a few pictures from that day. Most were taken by John, but some by me too. Random note: John has taken this photography hobby of mine to a whole other level! He keeps making trips to the camera store to buy contraptions for the Canon! This was the first time that he shot with his precious Gary Fong diffuser, but I really like how much warmer the pictures are. And to think , I had to break my point-and-shoot camera, convince him to upgrade to a step-up camera, and then practically beg him to drop the cash on the T2i once I got sick of the step-up! Now I have to wrestle the damn thing away from him at home because, sometimes, he fiddles with it more than he fiddles with me. ;-)
We were pooped when we got home. The boy cubbies practically collapsed when we walked through the door, but Niki was still up and at 'em. She was coasting on a sugar high so I just laid in bed and watched her play with her Daddy. I started to feel weak as I drifted off to sleep, but I just figured I prematurely pushed myself like I always do. I must have only slept for about 45 minutes or so, but then I woke up and it happened again....
I had another anaphylactic reaction.
I've been dealing with this for YEARS now and it's idiopathic -- which basically means the doctors don't know what causes it. I've had tons of work-up -- octreotide scans, nuclear medicine scans, CTs, xrays, flexible sig, endoscopy, specialty lab draws, multiple 24-hour urine collection tests (yes I know the concept is gross) but multiple specialists haven't been able to figure out what's causing it. But what they do know is it's definitely caused by a delayed reaction to something I eat. I've tried to keep a dietary diary to correlate what it is that I'm allergic to, but nothing adds up. And, unfortunately, my food allergy tests have all come back negative. So, I'm pretty much tiptoe-ing around this anaphylaxis crap.
Eight years of walking on eggshells ain't fun, but I'm just going to keep doing what I do and hope for the best.
I felt an instant overwhelming sense of fear wash over me when the episode happened. I was barely moving air in less than 5 minutes. Luckily I didn't lose consciousness this time, but I was close to it. I vaguely remember feeling dizzy and staring at my SIL holding Niki. Poor Niki looked confused, and I hated that she saw me that way. I hate when the boys see me that way! My rescue inhalers didn't work and John called 9-1-1 immediately. He's seen me almost die from this on multiple occasions -- he's even shot me with my Epi-pen before-- but I shook my head when he frantically offered to administer it to me.
Epinephrine can save a life during an anaphylactic reaction, but its also a vasoconstrictor. Vasoconstrictors are NOT good for the placenta, and the use of Epinephrine has been known to cause fetal death. In laymen's terms, this means that poor little Noie wouldn't have been able to breathe because of the negative effect the Epi-pen could've had on the oxygen-rich blood flowing to my placenta.
Do you remember when I wrote this post? The last time I had a very bad episode and lost consciousness was when I was in my 1st trimester of pregnancy with Niki -- my 26th birthday. And that's why it was such a miracle that Niki survived that ordeal because the paramedics gave me epinephrine when they arrived! Really, my doctors and the ED were absolutely amazed because I was barely 8 weeks pregnant. She really is a miracle cub, ya'll! So, given that experience, I didn't want to give myself epinephrine at all. I didn't want to put Noie at risk, anaphylaxis or not. I'd rather move very, very, very minimal air than instantly have no air to the baby at all.
I would rather die than lose another cub.
DCFD made it to the house in a matter of minutes. (They're right down the street.) The rest is a blur. I was panicked, and didn't feel like I was sucking in any air. John says my oxygen saturation was 79-80% by the time the firefighters got there!!!! I started having back spasms (similar to what it feels like when I go into labor) so I was sure that something bad was happening to the baby. They took me to the emergency room in SSF and I was given copious amounts of oxygen, several breathing treatments, IV benadryl, and magnesium. I was already on a prednisone taper, and I just took some about 4 hours before the attack.
The ER doctor told me that if I wasn't already on Prednisone, the episode could have been a lot worse. Luckily, I didn't have to be admitted, and I got to go home early that morning. I lost track of time thanks to daylight savings, but I think we were there for at least 6 hours or so. My oxygen saturation was 95% when I was discharged, but I didn't desaturate when I walked/exerted myself. And, that's always a good sign.
Before I left, the nurse checked the baby's heartrate and it was normal. But....I was very worried about Noie. I spent all day in bed on Sunday -- drifting in and out of sleep -- but Noie barely moved when I was awake. Even when I tried to drink apple juice and lay on my left side, she still didn't move. Her movement was sluggish that day and it worried me. I was thisclose to going to labor and delivery so they could do a stress test, but John and I decided to wait it out.
Luckily by Monday morning things were looking good. Noie was moving a little bit more and I had follow up appointments with my allergist. She ran some tests and I practically spent all day at Kaiser because she was searching PubMed (a medical library) for cases like mine so she could formulate a different treatment plan. Wouldn't you know it, there are none. What happened to me on Saturday shouldn't have happened -- I was on prednisone & numerous inhalers -- but it happened and she couldn't understand why. Wouldn't you know it, she couldn't find any case reports meeting my criteria. She's the Chief of Allergy so I have complete trust that she's doing the best she could to help me. She hestiated to give me clearance to continue on with my trip to New Orleans, but she lived there for 3 years and she knew asthma-wise I wouldn't have to worry about the weather too much. She even recommended which hospital I should go to should I have a reaction while I was out there.
We've formulated a new plan of action for when I think a reaction is coming on. I can't do anything to prevent it from happening, but I'm hoping this new plan will help me from getting so bad so quickly. And, I just had a follow up with my Ob/Gyn earlier today so he could check on Noie, and she's doing fine too. I'm officially 30 weeks pregnant. Only 10 more weeks to go!!!
It's a "party all the time" here in the my neck of the woods, but I'm still cracking my whip and going strong.
In due time my pretties, in due time....
In other news, call me silly, but I only recently discovered the "stats" tab on Blogger a few weeks ago. (When my blog died, and was reborn.) I was surprised to learn that I have quite a few daily visits from readers all over the place -- United Kingdom, Philippines, Germany, Japan, Russia, Canada, Netherlands, Sweden, Czech Republic, and the list goes on and on! Okay, the Philippines makes total sense, but the only logical explanation I have for the other countries is that you found my blog through HemAware.org. And if so, that ROCKS & I'd love to "meet" you.
With that being said -- ahem -- why not just hit the "follow" button in the Bloggy Friends area on my sidebar? I know I just put the "follow" option on my blog (when my blog was reborn -- woo hoo!), but please do follow this blog so I know you're out there. A few of you "secret readers" already came out of the woodwork, but I don't see you under my followers list. Family and friends, this includes you too! Let's get this party started!!! :)
Thank you for listening to my announcement of the day. Onto the update....
Saturday, November 6, 2010
You may remember that I mentioned in my last post that I was battling cold and allergy symptoms shortly after Halloween. I didn't have a cough or asthma symptoms, but I was dealing with watery eyes, a nose that ran like it was trying to win a friggin' marathon, and sneezing like I was allergic life AND air itself.
I. Was. Miserable.
Nevertheless, I continued to work and push myself like I always do -- gotta save my sick/vacation time/FMLA hours for emergencies with Niki -- and I *thought* I was doing better by Saturday morning. I'm very limited on what I medications I can take because of Noie, but my allergist started me on a Prednisone taper on Thursday 11/4/10 so I could keep my asthma in check. I'm breathing for two, ya know. My doctors and I get nervous whenever I'm sick because my history of asthma and anaphylaxis. The good news is all was fine and dandy asthma-wise. My lungs were clear and I had no signs any infection brewing. My doctor even gave me the go-ahead to use Benadryl for my allergies. Meanwhile, I was still reporting to work every day, and comforted myself (and my patients) in knowing that I was NOT contagious.
There is no rest for the weary. ;-)
I was feeling slightly better on Saturday. Actually, we had a wonderful time attending my godson and nephew's joint birthday party. I don't recall appearing alarmingly sick to the rest of the party-goers, but I'm sure I looked like something the cat dragged in. But -- hell -- that's practically a daily occurence anyway! I'm far from being one of those radiant pregnant women. I don't glow, I sweat!
The cubbies had a blast. We got there a little late which means I didn't have a chance to take pictures of decor while it was still relatively untouched, but it was an adorable party. I really appreciated the concept of theme. I went to a Cowboys & Indians party once, but I really liked the idea of Buzz & Spidey battling. My CIL-to-be put the party together and I must say she did a really good job. (You guys know I'm a sucker for all things crafty!) Frankly, I'm a lazy ass so I always make the boys pick ONE theme even though they've begged me do TWO themes before. I still haven't got the slightest idea how I could've put together a "Hot Wheels and Diary of a Wimpy Kid" party. But, it's okay because I'm done with boy parties for a while anyway. ;-)
Here are a few pictures from that day. Most were taken by John, but some by me too. Random note: John has taken this photography hobby of mine to a whole other level! He keeps making trips to the camera store to buy contraptions for the Canon! This was the first time that he shot with his precious Gary Fong diffuser, but I really like how much warmer the pictures are. And to think , I had to break my point-and-shoot camera, convince him to upgrade to a step-up camera, and then practically beg him to drop the cash on the T2i once I got sick of the step-up! Now I have to wrestle the damn thing away from him at home because, sometimes, he fiddles with it more than he fiddles with me. ;-)
The Cake
My Godson JT
And his brother AC
These are my favorite
Red Velvet
More Yumminess
Okay, I didn't get approval to post this partial face shot, but I hope you don't mind. I really gotta start asking people while I'm at fam parties to see if it's okay to post pics. I don't like doing it without permission , and I have so many shots that I wish I could post!
AC is barely 2 yrs old, but he already has a great imagination. :)
My Cubbies
The Next Generation of "C-Boys"
Boo's Schnozzle
Niki hugging the adorable LL
We were pooped when we got home. The boy cubbies practically collapsed when we walked through the door, but Niki was still up and at 'em. She was coasting on a sugar high so I just laid in bed and watched her play with her Daddy. I started to feel weak as I drifted off to sleep, but I just figured I prematurely pushed myself like I always do. I must have only slept for about 45 minutes or so, but then I woke up and it happened again....
I had another anaphylactic reaction.
I've been dealing with this for YEARS now and it's idiopathic -- which basically means the doctors don't know what causes it. I've had tons of work-up -- octreotide scans, nuclear medicine scans, CTs, xrays, flexible sig, endoscopy, specialty lab draws, multiple 24-hour urine collection tests (yes I know the concept is gross) but multiple specialists haven't been able to figure out what's causing it. But what they do know is it's definitely caused by a delayed reaction to something I eat. I've tried to keep a dietary diary to correlate what it is that I'm allergic to, but nothing adds up. And, unfortunately, my food allergy tests have all come back negative. So, I'm pretty much tiptoe-ing around this anaphylaxis crap.
Eight years of walking on eggshells ain't fun, but I'm just going to keep doing what I do and hope for the best.
I felt an instant overwhelming sense of fear wash over me when the episode happened. I was barely moving air in less than 5 minutes. Luckily I didn't lose consciousness this time, but I was close to it. I vaguely remember feeling dizzy and staring at my SIL holding Niki. Poor Niki looked confused, and I hated that she saw me that way. I hate when the boys see me that way! My rescue inhalers didn't work and John called 9-1-1 immediately. He's seen me almost die from this on multiple occasions -- he's even shot me with my Epi-pen before-- but I shook my head when he frantically offered to administer it to me.
Epinephrine can save a life during an anaphylactic reaction, but its also a vasoconstrictor. Vasoconstrictors are NOT good for the placenta, and the use of Epinephrine has been known to cause fetal death. In laymen's terms, this means that poor little Noie wouldn't have been able to breathe because of the negative effect the Epi-pen could've had on the oxygen-rich blood flowing to my placenta.
Do you remember when I wrote this post? The last time I had a very bad episode and lost consciousness was when I was in my 1st trimester of pregnancy with Niki -- my 26th birthday. And that's why it was such a miracle that Niki survived that ordeal because the paramedics gave me epinephrine when they arrived! Really, my doctors and the ED were absolutely amazed because I was barely 8 weeks pregnant. She really is a miracle cub, ya'll! So, given that experience, I didn't want to give myself epinephrine at all. I didn't want to put Noie at risk, anaphylaxis or not. I'd rather move very, very, very minimal air than instantly have no air to the baby at all.
I would rather die than lose another cub.
DCFD made it to the house in a matter of minutes. (They're right down the street.) The rest is a blur. I was panicked, and didn't feel like I was sucking in any air. John says my oxygen saturation was 79-80% by the time the firefighters got there!!!! I started having back spasms (similar to what it feels like when I go into labor) so I was sure that something bad was happening to the baby. They took me to the emergency room in SSF and I was given copious amounts of oxygen, several breathing treatments, IV benadryl, and magnesium. I was already on a prednisone taper, and I just took some about 4 hours before the attack.
The ER doctor told me that if I wasn't already on Prednisone, the episode could have been a lot worse. Luckily, I didn't have to be admitted, and I got to go home early that morning. I lost track of time thanks to daylight savings, but I think we were there for at least 6 hours or so. My oxygen saturation was 95% when I was discharged, but I didn't desaturate when I walked/exerted myself. And, that's always a good sign.
Before I left, the nurse checked the baby's heartrate and it was normal. But....I was very worried about Noie. I spent all day in bed on Sunday -- drifting in and out of sleep -- but Noie barely moved when I was awake. Even when I tried to drink apple juice and lay on my left side, she still didn't move. Her movement was sluggish that day and it worried me. I was thisclose to going to labor and delivery so they could do a stress test, but John and I decided to wait it out.
Luckily by Monday morning things were looking good. Noie was moving a little bit more and I had follow up appointments with my allergist. She ran some tests and I practically spent all day at Kaiser because she was searching PubMed (a medical library) for cases like mine so she could formulate a different treatment plan. Wouldn't you know it, there are none. What happened to me on Saturday shouldn't have happened -- I was on prednisone & numerous inhalers -- but it happened and she couldn't understand why. Wouldn't you know it, she couldn't find any case reports meeting my criteria. She's the Chief of Allergy so I have complete trust that she's doing the best she could to help me. She hestiated to give me clearance to continue on with my trip to New Orleans, but she lived there for 3 years and she knew asthma-wise I wouldn't have to worry about the weather too much. She even recommended which hospital I should go to should I have a reaction while I was out there.
We've formulated a new plan of action for when I think a reaction is coming on. I can't do anything to prevent it from happening, but I'm hoping this new plan will help me from getting so bad so quickly. And, I just had a follow up with my Ob/Gyn earlier today so he could check on Noie, and she's doing fine too. I'm officially 30 weeks pregnant. Only 10 more weeks to go!!!
It's a "party all the time" here in the my neck of the woods, but I'm still cracking my whip and going strong.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A Tale of Two Saturdays...
Saturday, April 10, 2010:
John decided that he didn't want to be "beaten by a girl" and went skydiving! Isn't he cute? He's terrified of heights, but he went anyway so he could reclaim his metaphorical testicles back from me. I was mercilessly calling him a "girl" for not going when I went. (I'm mean, I know.) Skydiving was an experience that I wanted to share with him though, you know? After two weeks of enduring my taunts, he finally said "f*ck it" and went with his cousins. Challenging John's manhood works like a charm, I tell you. Just as I suspected, he loved it and we're going together next time.
Mission accomplished. :)
While John was off being "extreme" with his cousins, I spent my Saturday at UCSF's Mission Center. It was my first day of school and I got a taste of my first 8 hours of sex educator training! I. LOVE. IT. Being in SFSI's Sex Educator program is seriously a dream come true. I heard about the course in the Human Sexuality class I took I was nineteen. I've wanted to do it (no pun intended) ever since and it's so surreal to finally be here.
One more goal crossed off my "bucket list".
Even though I loved every moment of my first day of training, as always I was being a shy-ass and kept mostly to myself. It takes a while for me to get comfortable around new people. Ha, I'm so not a cool kid! It's not that I'm anti-social or snobby (though it can appear that way at first), it's really because I'm painfully self-conscious. I always always ALWAYS feel like I don't fit in.
So, I stay quiet to spare myself the potential embarrassment.
My classmates and trainers are amazing! They all come from so many different walks of life and educational backgrounds that it makes me feel highly unqualified to be their "peer". I'm surrounded by college professors, sex workers, public health majors, therapists, and health educators.
Dude, I'm just an M.A. and a Mom.
Plus, they all speak so articulately that it makes me feel like a total dumb ass when I listen to them talk. I understand what they're saying, but I just don't feel "smart enough" to respond. AND to top it off I'm convinced that I'm the most "vanilla" person in that room. My life (personal and sex) seems so boring.
I'm seriously fucking impressed and utterly self-conscious at the same time.
Nevertheless as it turned out, sex ed training is not at all the perversion that outsiders might believe it to be. Even though I'm kind of infamous for having my mind in the gutter most of the time, I don't think I'm a pervert just because I'm interested in sex. I prefer to be called a "sex geek" instead. :) I heard that term for the first time on Saturday and it describes people like me perfectly. There is nothing wrong with being geeky when it comes to sex. We all do it, but people just don't talk about it. I have no qualms about "sexy things" (my 26th birthday celebration was at a strip club for godsakes!) and it was mentally stimulating to be with other "sex positive" people.
I didn't have FOUR LITTLE LIONS because I'm frigid. ;-)
Even though I'm admittedly learning about things like fisting, anal, BDSM and the latter, I'm ALSO learning valuable life skills. Communication is HUGE in this training program. In order to be good sex educator you have to be an effective communicator and listener. Sexuality is difficult for most people to openly discuss so there is a lot emphasis on interpersonal communication in our training. All of this training has actually helped me win a few arguments with John. Oh, and I've learned some nifty new bedroom tricks too. Bottom line, I'm really enjoying SFSI's program. :)
I was exhausted from my first 8 hours of training, but I was ecstatic that I would be able to unwind at the Alicia Keys concert later that night. John got me floor seats so I was super excited. Now that I've had the "floor seat experience" I'm convinced that getting floor seats was both a good and bad idea.
The good? I'm now positively convinced that floor seats are ONLY WAY TO GO for any concert that we attend from now on. This was our 2nd Alicia Keys concert and I enjoyed this one a LOT more. I could feel the music pounding through my body and that my friends, is fucking awesome. The crowd's energy is different too. When you're that close to the stage you live in the moment. I found myself completely engulfed in the performance. And I think some other people did too.In fact, a couple got so horny from Robin Thicke's "Sex Therapy" that they got kicked out for practically having sex right there in their seats. John said he saw her boobs.
The bad? If we don't score floor seats in the future I'm going to compare everything to "the time we got floor seats". The concert was phenomenal. Naturally, I cried like a baby for every "Ethan song" that A. Keys sang. It MOVES ME to hear and feel music/lyrics that are so deeply personal to me. Words can't even describe how much fun I had that night.
I took that as a sign and sent a text to help "keep a child alive" for Ethan. :)
Saturday, April 17, 2010:
The following Saturday 4/17 was equally eventful thanks to the Hemophilia Walk. :) Our chapter's inaugural walk was a success and I'm so glad that I got involved. I'm happy to report that Team Lucky Factor Seven was offically the top fundraising team! We had the largest "family group" which led me to believe that it was playfully intimidating to some of the other teams there. Our team stopped to take a picture when a drug company's team member tried to hype up his crowd by yelling his team's as they passed us. After the team stopped cheering, John playfull responded with "Yeah, but we still made the most money though."
Lol...then everyone in our team everyone cheered. So. Bad. ;-)
Team Lucky Factor Seven had a total of 267 donors and raised a little over $11,000 since February. All of this success in memory of Ethan and in support in Niki. :)
BIG thank you to our team members (you rocked it!), donors, walkers, virtual walkers, and everyone else who showed their support for our team that weekend in some way, shape, or form. I saw tons of Facebook status updates and tweets showing support for our team. One of John's cousins even wore her team shirt while she was in Vegas even though she couldn't participate in the walk. The day was gorgeous and HOT as HELL, but despite the heat I think our team had a lot of fun.
There were also lots of freebies (food, ice cream, water, promotional items) and you know us Filipinos don't complain when it comes to getting free stuff. Lol. ;-)
I'm already looking forward to next year's walk. And I hope that even more people will get involved. John and I were thrilled that our friends and family finally got a taste of what it feels like to be a part of Niki's community. Living with a bleeding disorder isn't always about sickness and stress. There are times when it can be positive too and our little bleeder is surrounded by a wonderful "extended family". She has lots of role models to help guide her through the journey that lay ahead.
I had some awesome pics of the individuals on our team, but I didn't want to post 'em for all the internet to see without asking for permission. So, if you want 'em, message me. :)
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Niki's Ninang had this lion made for her.
After the walk we went to celebrate our success with Ethan at Holy Cross. Of course, I took all of the freebies and decorated his headstone with it. We even had his own shirt and medal just like the rest of the cubs. 
Later that night I landed myself in the ER. It's the same asthma/anaphylaxis that has landed me in the ICU on a ventilator numerous times before. My symptoms are quick and strong and by the time I got to the ER my oxygen saturation was at 80%. I didn't even know it was possible to stay conscious with 02 that low!!! Luckily, my longtime friend is a nurse in the ER and she knows my health history well. (She's been there for most of my ER trips whether I got there by car or ambulance. She was even on the night Ethan went to the ER.) So, she completely took over my care and made sure the docs were on top of their shit. They gave me magnesium, benadryl, prednisone, and all sorts of other crap that I can't remember because the benadryl and epinephrine had me completely loopy and groggy at the same time. Poor John, he was totally stressed.
Early in our relationship he would show his panic during my ER visits, but with time and experience he's learned that keeping his cool keeps me grounded. Nevertheless, I always know it's bad whenever I see John slowly blowing out air with his hands on top of his head. Actually, I *almost* got admitted, but after staying for nearly 2 shift changes in the ER, they finally had me stable enough to go home.
I guess John got used to documenting ER visits 'cause I don't even remember taking these pictures.
When the meds wore off and I finally came to, I had all sorts of nifty new apps installed in my phone. So, I guess that was a plus. Another plus? John was super nice to me for the next few days because I was sick. I'm happy to report that I'm doing much better now. There's more to this story so keep checking back. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this Tale of Two Saturdays. :)
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