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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I've Missed You, Blogger.

Okay, so I lied.

This post is not about my oh-so-yummy NoieGirl & why I think she's the best thing since sliced bread. And no, this is not a post about Noie's birth-day & John's "birth partner fails." And no, this is not a post about everything that hasbeen going on with our den since friggin' NOVEMBER!!

No, this post is about how much I miss writing.

As God as my Witness, I swear I'll get to all of those posts eventually. But right now? No. Right now I need to vent. I recently discovered Blogger's MMS blogging feature so I thought I'd give it a whirl. I spend most of my time fiddling with my iPhone while I nurse anyway, so why not, right?

It's been months since I've had the time to actually sit down and write a post though. Even my HemAware blog has suffered, and that my friends, SUCKS! I miss writing!!! I miss feeling the soothing warmth of my laptop on my legs. I miss pounding out my frustrations on the keyboard. I miss being up-to-date with this blog. I hate that I have such a huge backlog of stories to document.

I foolishly thought maternity leave would allow me more time to play catch-up, but I was utterly and completely WRONG! On the contrary, I have zero time for myself these days. I don't even know who I am anymore. And usually I'm so...together.

Quite frankly I've had a hell of a time adjusting physically, hormonally, and emotionally to this new lifestyle of ours. I've developed a superwoman complex so it's hard for me to even admit that I'm crumbling from the pressure. I've spread myself too thin, burned the candle at both ends, and bit of more than I could chew many times before and I've NEVER faltered.

I'm what I call a "functional wreck."

These days it's a challenge to be the old me -- to meet the demands that I used to so effortlessly. I'm still doing okay -- I meet a majority of my daily goals -- but I've noticed myself slipping in other areas. I just want to be superwoman again, you know? I'm working on it, and I'll write about that journey sometime soon, too.

But for now, I just needed to write.

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