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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

You Can't Please Everybody...

You know what I hate about having parties?

You can't please everybody!

I've been working on the seating arrangements for Niki's party and I'm officially stressed out. Configuring seating has taken way too much energy from me because I simply CAN'T please everybody.

But, oh boy do I try!

In case you didn't know, there are a handful of people in my life that I genuinely care about, but those same people can't stand each other. Ah, the joys of being neutral! I hate it, but it's true. The fact that certain people in my life don't like each other has posed a HUGE problem for me because I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable during Niki's party. Frankly, I also don't want to witness or hear of any childish bullsh*t during Niki's special day. John says I should just put all the people that don't like each other in the same table so people will be forced to just get over themselves. Ha, if only it were that easy! Honestly, I'm thisclose to doing it because I'm so sick of worrying about the seating arrangements. But...I'm not cut-throat like John, so I'm trying my hardest to keep everyone content.

It is supposed to be a day of celebration, but all I can think about is how the hell I'm going to avoid making people unhappy so I can have peace.

I'm a "people pleaser" so I'm not satisfied unless everyone else is happy. Never mind the fact that I'm unhappy right now because people can't just grow the hell up and leave the past behind them. In fact, some of those people don't even have enough courtesy to be considerate of my feelings by keeping their negativity to themselves. It's no secret that certain people don't like one another, but I really don't need to see or hear about it. But...don't get me wrong because I'm human and I have the same ugly skeletons in my closet too.

I'm nice as hell, but there are certain people that rub me the wrong way.

We are all entitled to dislike a person every once in a while. I can only speak for myself ('cause this is my blog) but, I can honestly say that I've NEVER disliked a person just because I felt like it. If I don't like someone it's because they did something to me first. Don't mess with me or my family and I won't mess with you. Simple. I am far from "holier than thou" and I too have difficulty completely forgetting past wrongs against me.

However, the difference is I don't drag side parties into my negativity.

Yeah, I vent to blow off steam. Who the hell doesn't? However, I only share what few negative thoughts I have swimming around in my silly head with people who hold the same contempt as I do. I don't try to recruit people to join my way of thinking nor do I make it a point to plan malicious sneak attacks to piss people off.

We've all watched Mean Girls. Believe it or not Regina George could be male, female, young, and old.

I'm not clueless and I've been thinking A LOT about all of the potential petty bullsh*t that could ensue at Niki's party. This has happened at numerous parties and get-togethers that John and I have held in the past -- even Ethan's funeral for crying out loud!

You may think you have an idea about who I'm talking about, but you have no idea.

I'm not calling anyone out, I'm just getting these thoughts out of my system. It has been eating away at me. All of this "hidden drama" is happening all over the place (between family and family - friends and friends - young and old - male and female) and I am EFFING stressed out about it!!! My head hurts.

I'm unbiased by nature, but this neutrality has been a blessing and curse at the same time.

I can't change my family, friends, or acquaintances no more than I can change how certain people feel about me or each other. What I love about "making nice" with everybody is that it gives me the opportunity to appreciate the same things that they don't like about one another. Am I making sense? Everyone is a nice person if you allow yourself to see the goodness in them.

Can I get a Kumbaya?

What I despise about being neutral is the fact that it means some people get ticked off because I don't pick favorites. There is ALWAYS a common denominator when people don't get along. It's just that people often lose sight of the REASON why they didn't like each other in the first place.
I always give people the benefit of the doubt unless they give me reason not to. I've already heard everyone's version of the same story and I've made my own assessments. I honestly believe that if prior drama weren't involved, then the same people that dislike each other would've actually gotten along great. If only they had the opportunity to get to know one another then we could have all gone out for coffee, I swear!

It's simple magnetism, really.

Likes always repel likes and opposites attract. Perhaps certain people don't like each other because they're alike in some way, too. On the flip side, just because you associate yourself with a certain group of people doesn't mean that you're like them. Keep in mind that opposites attact and allow me to use myself as an example. I'm close with friends/family/aquaintances because of the gifts that their unique personalities bring into my life, not because we're clones of one another. Being closer with someone doesn't automatically mean that I think that person can do no wrong. I had a very personal experience with this a few years ago and it sucked. I really don't like it when people make inaccurate judgments about me.

But...who does?

I know that it's easy to succumb to the temptation to talk crap. In fact, it's hard for me to forget and fully forgive when someone has wronged against me. We're all this way and anyone who says they aren't is a damn liar....or Mother Theresa. It takes a very big person to "let go and let God" and I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from that inner strength. However, I do believe that way too much time and energy is spent campaigning against people that we don't like.

Why can't we follow Rodney King's example? Can't we all just get along?!

I'm tired of worrying about how a few people who I love (but dislike each other) could potentially spoil my daughter's beautiful day. That type of negative energy has NO BUSINESS at her party. Niki has beat all the odds and she's alive when science says she shouldn't be. We're having this huge party, not to show off or because we have money to burn, but because of what Niki has overcome in the past year.

Have you not been reading my blog? Why not celebrate it that we made it this far?

She has had it rough -- as a family we've had it rough -- and I'll be damned if I'm going to allow petty drama to ruin this day. Allow us (my family) the opportunity to celebrate what Ethan's passing has helped Niki accomplish, too. She wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him.

February 13th is supposed to be a happy day and now that I've gotten this off of my chest, I'm DONE stressing off of other people's drama.

I have a lot of friends, family, acquaintances that read this blog. Some might be guilty of what I'm talking about while others are not. So, for those that feel that the contents of this blog has affected them in any way, perhaps you are who I'm speaking of. Please be considerate of my feelings and follow my advice....

Let's leave the negative energy at home that day, shall we?

I'm not mad and I most definitely don't blame you for feeling the way you do, but Niki's party is not the time nor the place to talk crap about one another. You are entitled to your opinion, but I'd like you to leave that opinion at home. I don't want to see eye-rolling, whispering, or hear comments about how you can't stand blah-blah-blah-yackety-shmackety. We can do that privately some other time, k? Over coffee perhaps? I'm always open to hearing you out.

For that day, let's just be merry, drink tea, and celebrate Niki's milestone. :)

Since I'm in the mood to be so open about my thoughts, there's one other thing that's been burning a hole in my heart....

If any "frenemies" of mine (and I know of a few out there) happen to stumble upon this blog entry please, let go of whatever it is that irritates you about me. Oh dear readers, you might even know a "frenemy" of mine, too.

Socrates once said, "Well, if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?".

Read the Test of Three if you want have some useful insight on how to handle rumors. My very good co-worker/friend told me about this story and I absolutely loved it. Yeah, Socrates is pretty awesome.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if for whatever reason you've heard some random story about me, perhaps you should think twice about what the speaker's intentions are. I've never said a word about them so why do you think they would say anything about me?

Things aren't always as they seem.

To state it simply, I'm nice person and some not-so-nice people have felt the need to subliminally f*ck with me. However, I wouldn't say "boo" to a goose let alone confront a person about why they don't like me. This is my blog, my therapy, my outlet so it's really my only means of getting the word out there. In all honesty, I've got too much stuff going on with my family to be worried so much, but I do. I'm a people pleaser, remember?

All of this petty stuff is a distraction and I'm tired of being distracted.

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