So, I have a terrible confession to make...
I dropped Niki on Saturday.
It was soooo bad and I felt sooooo awful. I'm convinced that I totally jinxed myself after I gave the "2 unnamed baby falling culprits" (see here and here) such a hard time about "allowing" Niki to fall off the bed.
And then here I go DROPPING her!
I was giving her a bath in the bathroom sink when it happened. I was holding her over the sink to wash her "lady parts" when she forcefully arched her back and started to fall. Keep in mind that Niki is a almost 1/3 of my weight, okay?! Anthony was keeping me company while I gave his sister a bath so saw the whole thing. My little Boo let out an audible gasp when Niki slipped out of my hands and hit the ground. Even a four year old kid knew it was bad!!! On her way down, I desperately clawed at her slippery little body in an attempt to catch her from falling. But alas, my efforts were in vain because she fell anyway! Who in their right mind DROPS their hemophiliac child?!
I'm sure Boo will remember that moment for the rest of his life. Lol...FAIL!
Niki fell so quickly that I didn't really see what body part hit the ground first. I just saw her fat body flip and tumble. I *think* I saw her hit the side of the tub, but I wasn't 100% sure. When I picked her up, I saw red marks (from my desperate clawing) on her arms, legs, and trunk of her body. I checked her head to look for bumps or marks, but THANK GOD she had none. She was crying, I was crying, and Boo was stuck staring at the both of us with his beautiful, wide eyes.
He totally had a "Oh shit Mom, what the f*ck did you do?!" look on his face.
Luckily, the fall wasn't as bad as it sounds. I gave her factor 15 minutes prior to the "Fall of Shame" so she was covered. (NovoSeven is at its strongest within the first 1 hour or so of infusion. Factor VII has a very short half-life because it's also a very potent factor. To state it simply, the body uses FVII very quickly to help clot. Her blood is the "most normal" RIGHT after she gets her factor.)
But, that's not the only good news!
It was laundry day so there was a pile of pre-sorted dirty laundry (I believe it was colors) right next to the tub. Niki's fall was softened my a pile of dirty pajamas, t-shirts, and Lord-knows-what-else (coloful "Vickys" undies perhaps?). Niki stopped crying almost instantly after I picked her up.
I quickly and *carefully* ran downstairs so I could grab my phone to call the on-call Hematologist. I was wearing socks and my MIL has hardwood-- I didn't want to fall and inflict MORE damage! When I got downstairs, I grabbed one of Niki's many cold packs and placed it on the largest red mark (near her right shoulder). I was so worried that all of my frantic grabbing may have caused a joint bleed somewhere.
I also placed the dreaded phone call to John to let him know about my "parenting FAIL" and he wasn't too jostled by the news. (Perhaps because he was guilty of a similar fail before? Lol.)
After what seemed like ages of being on hold, the Hematologist (I forgot her name because I was in such a panic) on-call finally got on the phone. Meanwhile, Niki was trying to wrestle the cold pack from my hands (like she normally does) so she could gnaw on it.
My daughter is such a hopeless little heffer. Lol!
Dr. No Name assured me that Niki was perfectly safe (just like any normal baby would be if they didn't have head trauma) because she JUST had her factor dose. In fact, the Hematologist told me that she felt "more sorry" for ME! She knew how guilty I felt.
She could probably totally hear
As always, the hematologist advised me to watch out for growing bruises (she had so many fingerprint bruises from my grabbing), joint bleeding (swelling, redness, pain during movement) and of course, head bleeding (highly unlikely since she fell on a pile of laundry). John drew a circle around the larger fingerprint bruise to monitor the size too.
John came home and didn't make me feel that bad. He held Niki and kept saying (totally joking, of course) "Mommy dropped you, huh? Mommy's a bad girl, huh?" And then he'd pretend to spank me to appease his baby girl. Of course, Little Miss Queen was totally soaking it up by snuggling close to her Daddy and giving me the evil eye.
LOL...he's such a meanie. ;)
So, it has been a few days since the "Fall of Shame" and Niki is doing just good---no joint bleeds, the fingerprint bruises never grew, and she didn't have a head bleed. But...my "parent ego"? Not so much. I think I'll feel guilty about that for the rest of my life. However, during the holiday party Ate A's mom disclosed to me that Ate A fell off the bed when she was a baby too. It's nice to know that I'm not the only "mom of a severe bleeder" that had that happen to their kid. When Ate A overheard that she fell off the bed she replied, "That's f*cked up, Mom." and totally laughed about it.
I hope that Niki has the same sense of humor.
On a lighter note, AT LEAST Niki will know how much importance I put on personal hygiene. 'Cause let's face it people, some women just don't give a damn. ;-P A very important life lesson was learned here folks so I say the fall was worth it. (Or at least that's what I'm telling myself to make me feel better, lol!)
Sure, I dropped my baby, but....
it was all in the name of a clean vagin@!