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Thursday, July 30, 2009


If you asked me who I was 10 years ago, my answer would be completely different from who I am today. 10, 20, 60 years from now, my answer to that same question will different.

I change...and so do you.

We're all like clay rolling down a hill. We become pitted and marred during our journey. Some hills are relentless. Unmentionables temporarily stick to us, but fall off at the next bounce. While some things become permanently embedded into our "clay". And sometimes, our rough edges are smoothed out when we coast down more forgiving hills.

So if you ask me who I am, I say I'm clay.

I've been rolled down some pretty fucked up hills, but I don't give up. Irefuse to give up. Yes, I'm weary...I'm tired...I'm sad, but I am also tough. And believe it or not, happy. Even though clay is typically associated with being soft and pliable, I perceive my vulnerability as a strength.

I adapt...and so do you.

I've been under a lot of stress lately. I am not perfect, but I strive to be. Sometimes, "balls of clay" roll down the same hill, but move too fast to notice who is rolling right next to them. Life is hard for everyone. And, although I am unable to speak for the "ball of clay" next to me, I can speak for myself. I try so hard to be the perfect mother, wife, family member, friend, employee, student, citizen, etc. Yet, more often than not, I fail. I am less than perfect.

But who is perfect anyway?

I have learned that I need to stop beating myself up for things that I cannot control. Mistakes that I've made have NEVER been some evil ploy to conquer the universe. Some hills are better than others, that's all. And some hills are travelled alone or with someone rolling right beside you.

Half the battle is having the will to keep rolling.

1 comment:

  1. sweetie! i totally agree. and i completely understand where you are coming from. it's the ability to keep trying, to pick yourself up and go on that makes us stronger. rev run posted this today and i think i was meant to read it and pass along the message. "If you've lost a lot, FINE!! Just don't lose the the lesson. Edison said, I haven't fialed a lot, I just sidcovered 1000 wasy that didn't work."