The Bruisers..

We spent Ethan's death anniversary (2/27) at home mostly. The cubs were cranky and getting myself up and at em was difficult that day. It was obviously a very shitty day for John and I. I laid in bed that morning and didn't want to get out of it.

I missed my "Bruiser".

Somehow, I finally got a grip and mustered enough energy to get ready to go to the cemetery at around 1 o'clock. We ran into my niece and her boyfriend at Holy Cross and I felt relieved that someone else came to visit him. We spent some time with Ethan and then off to Mass we went. My niece, her boyfriend, and my sister (with her family) also attended church. To put it lightly, I cried for most of Mass. Especially when it came time for them to announce the special intention of the Mass: "Baby Ethan Nikolas de Leon".

Baby.

He will always be a baby and that my friends, sucks. I wish he were here with me instead. I wish I could see him grow up. Sometimes when I stare at his picture, I still can't believe he's gone. After Mass, John planned to do something fun for the boys. So, he took them to Monster Jam with a few friends. John said that Ethan "would have wanted it that way" if he were alive. I had to agree since we took Kev to Monster Jam when he was two years old. John took the cubs to Monster Jam last year (2/26) when Niki was still in the NICU so it looks like this is going to be a yearly tradition.

I don't mind though, it's nice to have some "girl time" with my Little Bruisette.

We got out from Mass close to 7pm and went our separate ways. I headed off to Vallejo to try to make it to my goddaughter's birthday. Unfortunately, the party was already over so I went directly to my Stepmama's house instead. I finally had the opportunity to spend some QT with my little sisters. It had been ages since I spent some "alone time" with my sisters and I felt much better when I got home.

There was nothing like spaghetti, laughter, and good conversation to lift up my spirits.

Niki was up all night later that evening. She was inconsolably crying and we couldn't figure out why. We thought that she had a tummy ache, but the following day she was still cranky despite barely getting any sleep the night before. Later that afternoon we discovered that she had a huge knot in the back of her head! I was stroking her hair -- trying to comfort her -- when I felt it. No one knew how it got there (we asked everyone in the house) so we decided to factor her up and call the on-call Hematologist.

I think they hate us for calling so damn much.

I must say it was actually nice to ER for a non-Broviac related issue for a change. As usual, Nurse Stat was there along with Niki's regular ER doc (now nicknamed Dr. Daddy because he has a daughter Niki's age and he's always absolutely smitten with Nikiface). You know it's bad when I can actually refer to ER staff on a regular basis on this blog. Nevertheless, we roll with the punches.

We really should start paying rent at Kaiser SF's Emergency Room.

To my dismay, my friend who works in x-ray (who also performs CTs) wasn't working that day. We ended up waiting FOUR friggin' hours for a head CT to r/o a head bleed. The Hematologist wasn't too concerned with her "actively bleeding" since we already gave her factor, but still...I say we were priority.

Besides, it should be equally important to make sure she didn't have a large clot behind that knot.

Luckily, Niki stayed still long enough to have the CT done. We all felt very hesitant about sedating her if she didn't cooperate. This was her 2nd CT and if we keep going at this rate her uterus will be glowing by the time she's ready to have children. Sure they use lead shielding, but I still don't trust it. I became very "radiation conscious" after I started x-ray tech school.

But...I'd much rather have her vagina glow than risk missing a head bleed.

We were relieved to find out that there was no bleed, but Dr. Daddy still advised us on signs and symptoms of a head bleed. A "normal CT" doesn't necessarily mean that she stopped bleeding all together.

Some bleeds take longer to show up.

Monday rolled around and everything was looking good. I finally had the chance to get some much needed sleep, I was back to work, and Niki was active again. Nurse Richard called me from Dr. Awesome's office on Tuesday morning so he could check up on Niki. He had impeccable timing because just 5 minutes before my MIL called to tell me that Niki was excessively sleepy and vomited twice.

Both were signs of a head bleed. Oh the joy!

Nurse Richard consulted Dr. Awesome and they instructed us to give Niki factor right away since Tuesday was a NFD (no factor day). I swear, somewhere in the universe someone is getting rich from this girl. I was at work so I called my BIL and asked him to give her factor. He watched us give her factor a few times before when her dose was 150mcg (she's at 200mcg now) , but he never gave it to her on his own. So, because I was in the middle of a busy clinic and couldn't abandon work, I had to instruct him over the phone on how to administer her factor.

He did pretty damn good. :)

He was probably super nervous because I seriously woke him up when I called him. Actually I feel very relieved now that we have someone else that knows how to give her factor and perform dressing changes. My BIL is my new hero. His "heroic act" bought me some time until I could make Niki an appointment at Dr. Sweetheart's office. Pediatrics is only two floors down from my department so it actually worked out and my BIL drove Niki to her appointment so I could met them there.

Little Miss Bruiser was doing much better after she had some factor.

Dr. Sweetheart was out of the office so one of her associates saw Niki. He suspected that Niki caught a stomach bug and it was causing her to appear as if she had a head bleed. He performed some exams and she was doing fine neurologically.

It was a huge sigh of relief for all of us.