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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Broken Baby...

Still Father's Day:  Sunday, June 20th...

Niki was in a very good mood after all of her guests left. I'm telling you, laughter is the BEST medicine. It was still early (about 8pm) and the Tylenol was working full force so John took her for a walk around the Pediatric unit so she get some "fresh air". Meanwhile, I stayed in the room to clean up a bit.

John and Niki returned a few minutes after she finished walking one lap around the floor.

There was something different about this walk though. John said that Niki acted strangely in front of the room that Ethan passed away in. It wasn't a scary moment, but John said that she walked right up to room for NO reason at all. She ignored every other room except that one. Apparently, she stood there for a few seconds and just stared at the closed door. John called her name, she snapped out of it, and then went off on her merry way. Now, I believe Ethan is in heaven. No doubt about it. So, I don't think it is possible that Niki was sensing any type of ghostly presence in that room. However, I do believe that Ethan and Niki are deeply connected.

And we believed there was a reason why that room peaked her interest.

I was very curious to see what would happen if we went by the room again. It wasn't the first time that she walked around the unit, but it was the first time that she reacted to the room. We didn't want her to walk too much so stopped by the playroom to grab her favorite car. (Niki really enjoyed being pushed around in that thing.) She glanced at the door as we "drove" by, but that was it. Nothing unusual, but I do think it's important to note that she DIDN'T show any interest in any of the other rooms that we passed by.

John and I are convinced that Niki knows what happened in that room.

The Room (And NO, it's not scary)
Niki getting pushed by her Daddy
Right in front of the room...

After Niki got tired of riding the car, we went back in the playroom so she could play some more. She still had tons of  enegry. That's when she found "Bobby". Niki can't pronounce the word "baby" so the minute she saw it she repeated the word "bobby" over and over. Nikiface was absolutely in love with Bobby - she kept kissing her, patting her back, and rocking her. She even tried to tear off the id tag on Bobby's leg! (Niki hated her id tag so she was actually a little distressed that Bobby had one too.) John vowed to buy his daughter her own "Bobby" because it was so stinking cute to watch Niki interact with that doll. And, it was really nice to see Niki have some normalcy and comfort from that doll.

Niki "feeding" Bobby
Niki always got quick rushes of backflow in her IV whenever she would walk around...
So we would call the nurses over to flush it as soon as it happened...
And the backflow would be all better!

I didn't really notice it in the playroom, but Bobby was covered head to toe in Band-aids -- all over her arms, legs, torso, and even one on the top of her head. I'm not a fan of dolls (my older brother D tormented me way too much as a child), but there was something soothing about this baby. Bobby sends out a very powerful message about the resiliency of children. It made me wonder how many other little girls got consolation from that "broken baby". How many little girls placed Band-aids on Bobby to mimic their own "owies". I wondered how many little girls clutched this doll in their arms as they underwent scary and maybe even painful procedures. And now here was my "broken" baby getting comfort from a "broken baby" of her own. It's all very profound if you really think about it.

Meet Bobby...

Bobby kept Niki company for the remainder of her hospital stay. And that turned out to be the last day that she needed Tylenol.

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