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Friday, July 2, 2010

NOT Going to the Chapel...

John and I were supposed to get married on 12/11/10, but we decided to cancel the wedding once we found out about Fireball 2. I didn't think it would be a good look to be waddling down the aisle for my big ol' Catholic wedding while 8 months pregnant with my 5th bastard child. And shoot, I'm trying to enjoy my wedding day and honeymoon.

Besides, I didn't envision my wedding pictures to include my big ass belly. I wanted to be the quintessential blushing bride -- not fat and pregnant! And for the record, I don't care what anyone says, I'm wearing white when I walk down the aisle. I was a virgin when I gave it up to John (no whoring around for me lol! ) so I say I can get away with white.

But I digress...

John and I have officially been together for 12 years this Sunday (July 4th) so we're not in a rush to get hitched. We'll just wait until all of my sisters are done getting married and have our "big wedding" in 2013 - our 15 year anniversary. I'll be an old ass lady 31yrs old, but I don't care. I'm pretty sure I'll still be relatively thin and "unsloppy". And there's always Botox if my stress wrinkles get deeper. Besides, thirty is the new twenty right?

I'm still sad though.

What pisses me off the most was the fact that I had everything set already. I had my venue, caterer, floral, DJ, photo/video peeps, cake person, and church. I even found my dress. Nope, I did all of that planning for nothing. Oh, how I'll miss having my perfect winter wedding this year! My "so icy" wedding chalk full of bling, Tiff-blue, twinkling lights, fur, and maybe even whimsical feathers. No photobooth and sushi bar. No friends and family. No dancing the night away.

But all that pretty shit only counts for one day anyway. Having another cub is a fair trade for "all that glitters".  :)

There was a lot of pressure on John and I to get married before Kevin was born. There's nothing wrong with a "shotgun wedding", but John and I decided long ago that we would get married on our own terms. So, we adopted a "no shotgun wedding policy" and stuck to it all these years. A piece of paper given by the County Clerk doesn't define our commitment to one another, but our spiritual union does. We wanted to save the emotion and tears for our big ol' Catholic wedding. A wedding that we had our hearts set on having this year. A wedding that ain't gonna happen 'cause I'm! Since we already mentally prepared to get married this year, we decided to make our union legal. Instead of going to the chapel, we decided to go against our policy and "make it legal" at City Hall.

Oh, but life is full of surprises.

I was supposed to get married TODAY because it was the closest date to our anniversary. But alas, June wasn't a good month. My pregnancy ickies, Niki's various illnesses and eventual hospitalization didn't give me enough time to put together a lunch or even look for a dress. John and I decided to cancel our legal union. Seventy dollar civil ceremony reservations went down the drain today. Our life together has been amazingly unpredictable, but we roll with the punches.

Maybe we'll get married this year and maybe we won't, but I'm proud to say that we're still happily unmarried. :)

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