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Saturday, July 3, 2010

K.I.D.'s Not a Cub Anymore...

The first two weeks of June were very eventful for my eldest baby. My Kevie is turning into a young lion and I am turning into an old hag. I can't believe my boy has gotten so big so quickly.

For starters, I officially became the mother of a 2nd Grader on June 3rd. Dude, it feels like I just pushed him out of my womb a few days ago. Where did the time go? The good news is Kevin finally got out of his horrible 1st grade class. His teacher and I had our ups and downs this entire year so I was glad that he was done. Actually, I think I was even more excited than he was because his teacher was a crabby old lady. And, she yelled at the kids -- including Kevie -- and I know my boy doesn't respond well to intimidation.

To put it lightly, his teacher was NOT cool.

Kevin has always been very sweet and very bright.. This K.I.D. was reading when he was 3 1/2 years old for crying out loud! (And I didn't really teach him either.) The only reason we sent him to Kinder was so he could work on his social skills, gross motor coordination, and penmanship. Kev knew everything else. First grade was equally as easy for him. It was so easy that he often got bored and didn't apply himself enough, but not in a disruptive way though. He rushed through his work so he could draw or be the social butterfly that he was born to be.

I sensed that "Mrs. Crabby" didn't like him very much. She hardly had positive things to say during our conferences and didn't have very many constructive solutions to the classroom issues either. I tutored at-risk elementary-aged children for a year in high school and I still remember some of the tricks I learned with that experience. I tried to suggest numerous creative solutions to address Kev's road blocks, but she never did listen to them. She was also horrible about returning calls and responding to emails/notes that I sent to her. Nevertheless, she did her job as an educator and taught my K.I.D so I'll be forever grateful for the good deed. Good always outweighs the bad in my book, but I'm glad he's out of that class. I'm hoping she doesn't retire anytime soon so Boo can get a hold of her. Muahahaha!

Here's a video of Kevie reading his final report card. It's hard for me to believe that she "enjoyed him having him in her class" with all the complaints. Kevin got ALL 3s on his report card.

Entrance to 1st Grade
My 2nd Grader emerges :)

Oh, but that's not all! I have even more proof that K.I.D. isn't a cub anymore. His street knowledge seems to be growing too. Kevin became a huge fan of drawing comics after he read and watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid. On June 10th I came home from work to Kevie proudly displaying his latest comic book...

Yep, you read that right. Crackhead. Parenting fail! I couldn't believe it. John and I were trying to fight dying of laughter, but it was hard to maintain our parental composure. I was hoping that the comic was something totally unrelated to "real life" crackheads, but alas it was not. The story was about a guy who dances crazily to "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"! I don't think he knows what a crackhead is per se (as in slang used to describe a "crack user"), but I think it's pretty safe to say that he knows how some crackheads *possibly* act in public. Lol! According to Kevin, the other character in the comic was utterly confused with why "Guy 1" was dancing for no reason. After we composed ourselves and wiped tears of laughter from our eyes, John and I had a serious discussion with Kevin about "crackhead" being a "grown up word". I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he won't enter 2nd grade using that word.

The following day (June 11th), K.I.D. reminded us again that he's getting bigger. Kevie lost his 1st tooth and I felt like an old hag once more. Wasn't he just breastfeeding a week ago??? Didn't I just change his diapers yesterday?! Now my baby is knowing about crackheads AND losing his teeth?

I wish time would just stand still.

He mentioned a while back that his tooth was starting to wiggle, but I thought it take a while to come out. This tooth was his very first tooth -- the one he used to rip my nipples to shreds with when he was a baby. And now, it's gone. Both literally and figuratively. Before we could do the "tooth fairy thing" and have him fall asleep with the tooth under his pillow, K.I.D. lost it. He dropped his teeny, tiny tooth on our thick, cream-colored carpet. And Kev couldn't exactly pinpoint where he dropped it.

I spent hours upon hours trying to find the tooth -- literally combing every square inch of the floor with a brush and flashlight -- but it was gone. The tooth was so small and the carpet was soooooo thick. It must have gotten embedded in the fibers somewhere.

Unfortunately, Kev went to sleep that night without a tooth nestled in the pillow I saved all these years just for this occasion. (When I was about Kevie's age, my mom got a Tooth Fairy pillow for my sister and I. I saved it hoping to use it on my own kids someday.) Kev will have more teeth coming out in the next few months and I'm positive that my old Tooth Fairy pillow will be put to good use. I'm a sentimental schmuck so I was disappointed because I wanted to save the tooth, but I got over it. Kevin was bummed that he lost his tooth too.

Kevie was toothless for the Tooth Fairy which meant that I couldn't bullshit and slip money in his pillow. So, I explained to Kevin that he'll have plenty of teeth to "pay" the Tooth Fairy with in the future.When his next tooth comes out (I'm thinking any day now) I'll make sure that Kev gets double the money. In fact, I already made a handwritten, glittery letter from the Tooth Fairy that explains how she used his new tooth as a "tooth magnet" to find the old one in the carpet. In the meantime, we've tried our best to hide our vacuuming from Kevie.

I'm really hoping that I didn't make a bad parenting decision about this situation, but only time will tell. However, I have a very good reason why I chose not to bullshit my son.

Back of the Pillow

When I was about 7years old, I accidentally swallowed my tooth because I was trying to see if I could put it back in the socket. I don't know why I did such a silly ass thing, but I did. The following morning I woke up with money under my pillow and I was utterly confused. Eventually, I grossed myself out because I really believed (for a few years in fact!) that the Tooth Fairy invaded my body to retrieve the tooth from my insides as I slept.

I envisioned her coming out of my anus --covered in blood, irritably readjusting her tiara-- but triumphantly holding my tooth in her tiny fairy hand. I wish I were kidding right now. Why did I think she came out of my anus? I don't have a definitive answer because frankly, I can't remember, but I surmise my logic had something to do with physiology. Lol!

I was a big ass scaredy cat as a child. Unfortunately, my 7-year-old logic and Freddy Kruger-infused fucked up imagination really messed me up. The thought of the Tooth Fairy crawling around inside of me  haunted me for years. Actually, I never told a soul about it until now. Not even John. Don't judge me for being seriously terrified of the Tooth Fairy. ;-)

I highly doubt Kevie's tooth-losing experience was as messed up as mine. But...I suppose we'll just have to see what he writes about in a few years, wont we?

Not a Cub Anymore...
Holding My Pillow...
(The tooth was still inside.)

Look at how little he was before! Just found these videos and HAD to share them. My baby is growing up.

Kevin at 25 months

Tiffany | MySpace Video

Kevin The Smarty Pants

Tiffany | MySpace Video

Kevin @ 3 years Old
Kevin: Mommy's Little Einstein

Tiffany | MySpace Video

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